everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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