worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
