You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
