I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
