Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
