What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
