My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
