oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
