dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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