dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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