if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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