YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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