dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
