Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
