I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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