You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
