She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
