i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
