We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
why is half of my head shaved?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
