Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize