I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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