dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
