i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
