No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Come share oat with me in your robe
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
