You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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