HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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