You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
