Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
