can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
