nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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