her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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