Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
dude. I can hear the air.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
