so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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