You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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