So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
