I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
