so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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