so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
