ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
