Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So squirting runs in the family.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.