I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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