i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight