look no pants
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
