tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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