Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
