My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize