i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize