I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
