ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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