Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
