Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
