Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Randomize