The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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