I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
