That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
