He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
