Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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