found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you never un-have a 4some
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize