There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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