i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
