if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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