Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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