Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
