I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
