Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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