dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
