is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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